When it rains it pours....

Have you ever gone through a season in your life where nothing seems to let up? Where its just one sad event followed by another and with hard times in between? Over the past 6 weeks we have had at least two or three viruses sweep through our house, a husband working lots of overtime without extra pay, 2 surgeries, and 2 deaths. Lots of puking, new teeth, and lots of clinging from the toddler sort. Additional heavy lifting for me, and overwhelming sadness following the deaths. The first death was of my dearest friend's baby, you can read about it here. My friend Rachel, has been a super friend to me over the past year... and her loss was so very sad to me. Having experienced 2 miscarriages, I am familiar with loss, and I am familiar with that horrible feeling of losing a child. My miscarried babies were young, but the truth is that God knows them. He knows them. I may not, but He does. Rachel's loss has helped me to acknowledge my own. God is good and He uses the pain of others to help us acknowledge what we've not been able to. Sometimes its scary to face that kind of pain in our lives. I know that it is for me. Crying, especially in front of someone else is really hard. Being vulnerable can be a tough thing to do. I am thankful that this vulnerability has allowed people to come into my life that are blessing me when things are hard. I am so fortunate that I've got friends who are understanding of life's challenges. So many of my friends have called me more often, and made meals for my family.
Perhaps, if nothing else, the rain also brings about some rainbows... in the form of friends. My friends are like rainbows of promise to me in this season that God is good, and that despite the challenges He's always there for us. I am thankful for the rainbow after the pouring rain that life sometimes brings.

She'll be Missed...

When Matt and I moved to San Diego in 2006, we were a short drive from Matt's grandma, Jenice. We made the trip to her house several times while living in San Diego. She stopped driving quite a few years earlier and depended on the dollar ride to get to the store, and also on her son, Larry, and his friend Betty. Our visits always included some trips to the store, and usually a short ride around the town. Jenice loved seeing the town, and once we even stopped into a fruit market that had some interesting foods in it. On these drives, I enjoyed watching her interact with Joshua, who was 2 yrs old at the time, they way they were sitting eye to eye. She had terrible osteoperosis and she sat down low and was face to face with Joshua in his carseat. I'll never ever forget thinking that it was like they had their own cameraderie back there in the backseat. She was so gentle, kind and loving towards him. We thoroughly enjoyed our visits with Jenice. She was always very informed about what was happening in the world, and her local community. She was always very loving towards Matt and I. She gave the type of perspective that only a grandma can give. She was very good about sending cards our way for the boys and to us on holidays and birthdays. She had to really go out of her way to buy and send those cards, and it was great knowing that we meant that much to her. She was a great woman, who worked hard to provide for her four sons. I admire her hardwork, and her kind heart. She always wanted us to know how appreciative she was of us taking the time to come and visit her, but she's the one who deserves the thanks... thanks for your love, your wise insights, your sense of humor, and your encouragement.... You will be missed!

Once a sweet cherub, now a full blown toddler...

This is Caleb at about 4 wks of age... he was a true mama's boy from the start... he never really let me out of his sight for very long, but I've enjoyed that for the most part.

Now however he's a bit of a true natured toddler... adventurous, strong-willed, and yet still wants mommy, but on his terms.

What inspired such a post you ask? Even as I write this post my toddler has been throwing himself down on the floor having a tantrum for all the things he thinks he wants and for the things that he does want but cannot have. Enough said :)

life changing lyrics...

So, its not a surprise that I love music. I was surrounded by it even at an early age. I think it might actually surpass my love of coffee... I'm not joking! Tonight, my ipod is set to the most recent Natalie Grant album, "Love Revolution." On this album she addresses many things, and I am so proud to say that she's a fellow alum of my university! One of my fave songs is "Daring to Be" you can listen to it here...
I've had enough of the same old
Tired ordinary world
Telling my heart that I'm nothin'
But an ordinary girl
So sick and tired of falling for that lie every time
I've got a desire just to find out if there's more
And it starts tonight
CHORUS:
I'm waving goodbye to my pretty little life
Taking your hand and crossing that line
Daring to leave the old me
Shout it out loud, I'm not ashamed
Diving in now, and so not afraid
Hello to all that You see
And everything You made me
I'm daring to be
Perfectly safe and complacent
Those are words Your love's replaced
With fearless and brave, and courageous
Yeah, that's who I am today
CHORUS:
I'm waving goodbye to my pretty little life
Taking your hand and crossing that line
Daring to leave the old me
Shout it out loud, I'm not ashamed
Diving in now, and so not afraid
Hello to all that You see
And everything You made me
I'm daring to be
BRIDGE:
Can you hear it?
Calling every heart to come alive
Pulling us deeper
To the life that we were meant to find
And it starts tonight
CHORUS:
I'm waving goodbye to my pretty little life
Taking your hand and crossing that line
Daring to leave the old me
Shout it out loud, I'm not ashamed
Diving in now, and so not afraid
Hello to all that You see
And everything You made me
I'm daring to be

The song rocks and it feels like its my way of saying that I'm going for it all because I know that God is ready to take my hand, He's taking the hand of his daughter and leading me on. He isn't worried about what is up ahead, because he already knows... and because I know that He knows, I'm not worried.

Pray Continually, Give thanks in ALL circumstances...1 Thessalonians 5:17, 18

This boy is one amazing kid. At only 5 1/2 yrs old, he has lived in 2 countries, 2 states, 3 different houses, flown 6 international flights, gone to 3 different daycares, and endured 3 surgeries. In the midst of all these life changing experiences, he's proven to be a truly sweet hearted boy. I'm so proud of all that he's already done in his life...and am thankful to have him and to be able to call him son, well that's a true honor.

Who Knew?!?

Seriously, who knew that a dinosaur mylar balloon could entertain a typically grumpy toddler for a whole 20 minutes? Not only that, but I utilized the balloon as motivation for saying please. Everytime he let go of the balloon and it floated to the ceiling, far out of his reach, he had to ask for it. He was more than motivated to sign please. I'm hoping that the motivation and my follow through helps him to do that on a more regular basis! We shall see :~) What motivates you to say please? Do you engage in conversation with God on a regular basis? Are you saying, "Please let me have that new car?" or "Please protect my child in this surgery." or maybe its even harder, like "Please don't let me ever experience the pain of loss again." Whatever your prayer, God is listening, whether there is a please or not...

such a short season

Recently I've heard lots of people say to me, this season of life is short. The well-meaning individuals are referring to the years that my children are young. They are right, the season is short, and their sentiment is well-intentioned. However, and this is a BIG however, I think that I am speaking for many moms when I say that there are days in which I'm so thankful its a short season. I'd happily pass on my carpet being covered in everything toys to poop, the ear piercing screams, requests that are just repackaged and repeated (moms of kids 5 and older know exactly what I mean...)
All of those things, I'd happily pass, but if I did, would I appreciate these things?
I would not pass on the hugs, kisses, smiles, laughs, drawings, snuggles, and the unraveling of such intricate and unique personalities. My boys really have some great personalities. Joshua has been charming everyone for a long time. Caleb isn't much of a charmer, but more of a comedian that makes himself laugh. He knows he's funny even if you don't. Both of these boys astound me, because they are both so different, 4 years apart in age, and yet they get along, they love to play with each other. It warms a mama's heart to hear her children having fun together. They have their moments, but they truly care about the well-being of the other. So I guess what it makes me realize is that even in this short season of many struggles and joys, I had better enjoy this time that they are in my house, having the time to be brothers, because someday they will get married, be husbands and have families of their own.

It's been a long time....

listening to Gungor sing, Beautiful Things, which says, "You make beautiful things out of dust, you make beautiful things you make beautiful things out of us"... my life in the past 6 years has been full of joys, heartaches, and learning. I feel like the dust of my life has settled a bit, enough for me to see through it, its no longer clouding my vision for many miles. I'm now able to see what the next few years are going to bring to my family. I'm not suggesting that I know the future of my family in any way shape or form, but I do know some things... I know that God is doing great things in our life as a family. He's restored things that I thought were forever lost. Its fair to say that I relate to what the end of that song says, "You make me new, you are making me new." Thankful is how I feel... thankful that God cares enough about each of us on such an individual level, to know and to experience this are two entirely different things.

May update :)

In the beginning of this month we celebrated Joshua's 4th birthday. We also began our garden. Enjoy the pics of Joshua's Birthday, I will create another post for the garden pics :)